Is this any kind of abuse ? Part 1. Read Part 2?

My mom used to pull me by my arms and legs when I was 5 and she would hit me in front of everybody in class when I didn't wanna go to school. In fact once she hit me against the cubby holes and left me there. My nose was bleeding. *sigh* I would hate my life. I remember that once I told her in the car " You wanna kill me don't you ?!?!?! " and she said "Yes I do!!" . Sometimes I think she hates me. She had me when she was 18. She was married to my father. My grandma told me that my father abused her ONCE when he got drunk with my uncle but that was the only time ever!! And I know he regrets it!! But don't think my grandma is all sweet. She and my mom both call me fat and ugly and four eyes they make fun of me. They make fun of my style and my hair and everything about me! They say I'll never be as great as the other kids. They make me believe it they make me feel horrible. When I was about 3 I remember my mom was a party drunk slut whore. My grandma would get mad and tell her to at least brush my hair and my mom got pissed and ripped off part of my hair with her BARE HANDS. my grandma still has that hair...kinda creepy but anyways. My mom separated my dad when I was about 2 and half years old. She got together with this guy and had my brother and sister. She even got mad once because when she was pregnant with my brother she showed me the pictures and well I was still hoping she would get with my dad and asked " Who's kid is it ? (guys name) or my dads ?" i was a kid but my mom got pissed. She moved in with that guy I told y'all about. They had an on and off relationship and she would move out move in move out over and over. I loved hanging out with my dad. I have lots in common with my dad. I love art just like him here's a drawing i did : http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=160716327272525&set=a.155084771169014.31280.100000024777946 my grandma and mom think my drawings are horrible. My grandma has always wanted me to be a doctor or something but ive never told them my secret .... I want to be an artist or at least an actress. I think it was in July 4 2009 (fireworks day) when I called my mom (she lived with the guy) and asked her if she was gonna bring the kids over so we can light fireworks.. She didn't reply...instead I heard yelling screaming crying. My heart broke. I knew what was happening. *sigh* He was abusing her. He left a mark on her shoulder. My 4 or 5 year old brother yelling " Daddy stop!!" over and over. All of these emotions inside my head making me wanna kill myself and kill that stupid bastard (the guy) !!! My little 2 or i think she was 3 years old. She was in her room hiding. I couldn't take it!!!!! I told my grandparents ( I lived with them so I didn't have to choose between my mom and dad) anyways I told them "Hes abusing her we've got to get over there!!". My grandpa drove us over there. I was scared. I could feel my heartbeat. I was in the car. Me my grandma and grandpa were in the car. We were too afraid to go. They told me to go. I didn't want to but I knew I had to. I had to do it for my mom. I ran and knocked on the door. He opened it (the guy) and putted his "innocent act" and said " hey alexandra whats up ? " my mom said " were having a conversation go wait in the car! " I hated it but I did what she said. I did it Again and ran back knocking 2 times. Then I stayed in the car. She came out. I could see the bruise. She told us everything. I cried. I couldn't control my tears. My grandpa told her to tell the police! So she lied and told the guy (i don't wanna say his name) she was gonna go pop fireworks with us. But really we went to the police station. I felt free now that he was gonna get his lesson. The cops drove over and arrested him. They put him in the cop car. My mom begged the cops to let her in the house to grab some belongings. So they took care of the guy and let her in. We took about 12 bags of clothes and games. They took Him in jail. Days later my mom moved in with me and my grandparents. Months later I had to go to court on MY BIRTHDAY to say my part of the story. And to this day Ive hated my life. My mom calls me fat and ugly. I try and get good grades for her. But its hard to concentrate on work when all I hear or see in my mind is my mom saying "Your fat! " " Your ugly!" "maybe if you lost weight you would be pretty!!". I used to get good grades. I was amazing at school! Now im 11 and in 6th grade and Im failing social studies. Im almost failing science and math. the only classes im good in is art teen leadership and intro careers. Im perfect in ELA. I make 100's on my CBA's. I cut myself sometimes. This one kid called me an emo. Kids at school call me names . I feel like I don't fit in. I concentrate on how I look. I wish I was pretty. My crush thinks im the ugliest person on earth